It’s been awhile...and a few more things...

Wow! It’s been a few years since I’ve posted anything, so let me give you a brief update. I continue to visit the doctor and try new medications yearly. It’s as though I’ve  become immune to them after so many years of them being in my system. I will continue to stay positive and not let this disorder get the best of me. After many prayers and being patient with God’s timing, I currently work in a private Christian school. The atmosphere is completely different and in ways therapeutic. My passion is teaching, and I enjoy being able to share my struggles and growth with teachers of the Lord and watch my sweet students grow academically and spiritually. I believe going back to work and keeping a strict schedule  enables me to keep my mind occupied and not so depressed. However, on the flip side, now that I am working I don’t sleep very well. My mind is constantly thinking through the night about the next day, and I cannot relax and focus in the way that I need to in order to stay healthy. I feel like the older I get the more I struggle with my disorder, yet keeping a job where I can be creative and work in a place where each day is a new day, I am not bored but find joy in my heart working with children.   Unfortunately, my migraines and fibromyalgia also keep me from having many good days. I am constantly trying new medicines and techniques to keep these under control including Botox, shots, medication, meditation, music therapy, faith, and reiki in order to relax my body. For the most part, some of these new techniques are helping me in different ways. My goal is to find something that can at least keep me stable and positive. I will always have those bad days, but I know after the crash, I can regain control of my life again. I’m blessed to have family, friends, co-workers and a job that support me even on my worst days. Now that my children are older, they seem more compassionate about my issues. I always make the effort not to miss any important event in their lives, no matter how I feel. I want them to know that they are loved even though I may be sick. That is my priority right now, along with keeping myself healthy. So, that’s where I am in my journey thus far. I can only hope that through my testimony, I can encourage other moms and keep them positive. No matter what, you are strong, beautiful and loved.

Mental health awareness is a very difficult topic to share sometimes.  You feel judged by others or insensitivity towards your emotions and actions.  I have a nephew who struggles with his mental health as well.  It is important to understand that although you cannot physically see the disability, it does not mean it's non-existent.  He continues to struggle with this daily in school, sports, and at home.  Everyday is a new day, but it may not be an easy one.  So, if you see a mom struggling with her child, be aware that it might not necessarily be a behavior issue.  DO not try to give inappropriate advice.  DO not try to yell at the mother.  DO not stare at them and shake your head like they are crazy.  However, offer support and see if she needs help.  Say a private prayer. If not, WALK AWAY.  It is not at all easy for a parent to completely control a child who is having a meltdown.  It's exhausting, embarrassing, and a feeling of helplessness.  Do you ever think that mother goes home and cries praying her child will be stable and happy one day?  Until then, she can only be an advocate and do everything she can to protect his/her health and safety. You never know what someone is going through....be conscious and sensitive to that.